Written On: Monday, March 22, 2010
Pop quiz: where is the quote at the title of this note from? Give up? Its from Grease. Possibly one of my favorite lines from that movie. Its so innocent. He means it as a compliment and she takes it as one. I have always wanted to say this line to people. To the kids who picked on me growing up, to all the boys who wouldnt give me the time of day, to the gym teachers who constantly make me feel 2nd rate because I couldnt run a lap. THERE IS MORE TO ME THAN JUST FAT! This week has been a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, week". Between my purse and all my identity being stolen out of my car, not getting nearly enough sleep and the little things like having to pee so bad that i run to the bathroom but fall outside on the ground on the way. Go ahead laugh..i know you want to. There are silver lineings that God has showed me but more on that in a bit. I have been thinking a lot this week about why I am doing all of this. Is it for the right reasons? Am I wanting to be healthy or to just trying to look better so i can finally have a date? Am I writing these things to boost my ego or to inspire and be inspired by friends, family and others like me? Its difficult to go on the weight losing "journey" and not think of how great you will look afterward. However if youre not careful it can take over and become the reason youre doing it in the first place. God and I were having a little chat this week and He really just confirmed that all of this, The timing, my openess and any success I have is all because of Him. And I totally believe that with all of my heart. "For apart from Him I can do nothing". At the end of the day what I look like on the outside is not who I am. I am suddenly not going to be any smarter or funnier. (really...im already hilarous so..) Who I am is on the inside. Who God created me to be is on the inside. My personality, my gifts, talents, and even my vises will not change if I weigh 1000 pounds or 150 pounds. So I will continue to be true to who I am. Kelly Marie Flaherty, child of God! So silver lineing. Some things that would normally have been in my purse where not there. ie: my new camera and my ipod nano. Ironically my camcorder and my ipod shuffle were in there. So when the thief wants to have a laugh they can watch the ridiculous video that Daruenie and I made a few Sunday's ago during Sunday School. And they can listen to my random mix of songs I work out too. Good for them I hope they enjoy it. Also...big news. I went to the drs this week and from the last time I was there which was maybe 4ish weeks ago...i have lost 18 pouinds. Woohoo! Aparently eating right and exersize actually IS good for you. Who knew? They should really advertise that more. I have to tell you about my friday. Last week I shared about climbing on a big rock. I've posted pics if you would like to check them out. Anyways this week I went back with a couple of my kids. I looked at the rock and thought...i wonder if the first initial hurdle would be as hard as it was last week. So I boosted myself up not wanting to climb all the way up but just the first step I guess you could say. I got up no problem and thought. Wow one week and I'm already one step closer to being a professional rock climber. Then I went to get down.... I was frozen. Trying to find a grip to hold on to and allow my foot to go down to the "step" below. But I couldnt reach it. As I stood there sweating to death at this point trying to figure out how I get myself in these situations I thought, great now I have to climb up just to get down again. Daruenie was there yelling at my to just put my foot down. As she said...ITS RIGHT THERE! But everytime I tried to and I didnt feel the safety of the rock below I would put my foot back up and exclaim that I was clearly going to be stuck on this rock forever! In my head I was miles away from where i was trying to get and there was no way I could do it. Finally I put my foot down enough and oh look..it was right there all along. There was probably about a half an inch from where I was. But that was the farthest half inch of my life! I suppose I need to learn to let go. With my great ability to relate anything to a lesson, I say this: In life we need to learn to let go and trust that all will be okay. To know that there are people there helping us and guiding us. We cannot let fear run our lives. As then we will never be able to move on. So when I face planted on the pavement I instictivly put my hands out and tried to catch myself. So today I am expierencing huge amounts of muscle pain in my arms. Feels like I lifted hundreds of pounds. Oh wait...i did! Maybe I should trip more often. Seems to be a good workout. I am starting to get restless of eating right. I have not stopped yet or been tempted to the Devils delicious food cake. But I am wanting to not track points and calories and fiber and fat etc. Sigh. BUT I know that it is working so I will continue on and do it even when I dont feel like it. Things I learned today: RMV's are the most ridiculous places. You would think they would make more of them. Just when you think you are almost done they tell you to fill something out and come back. By then there is a huge line for you to stand in. Climbing rocks and jumping around in the woods is a great workout...3 days later and my legs are still sore. In the wise words of Relient K..Im pressing on
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