Confessions of a fat kid

Written: Tuesday, March 9, 2010


In this age of work out programs, exersize machines, quick fix diets, must have 5 minute ab roller/arm crunch/get rid of that fat under your chin gadgets..why are we so afraid to be public about our weight loss process. These products are designed for people to lose weight yet if we are trying to we keep it a secret. I affectionatly call this "the fat kid mentality". You know how when youre a chunky kid and no matter what you do athletically you get made fun of. The people telling you to lose weight are the first ones to mock you when they see you trying. So we keep it a secret. I have come to realize that this is counter productive! Like with other things in life that you are trying to overcome or keep up with, having accountability is essenctial. If you are doing it on your own surely you will then forgive yourself for just needing a little bit of chocolate..or at least what started out as that but then 5 minutes later you have torn into the whole chocolate cake and are now searching for the gallon of milk all the while the evidence is plastered all around your mouth. As you fall to the ground clutching your stomach you think why oh why didnt i have some fruit! Sound familiar? Okay maybe that was a bit of an over exaggeration. But we all know we wouldnt be too far from it! My point here is this...TELL SOMEONE! There is no shame in wanting to better your life by eating healthier, exersizing more and shedding some unwanted poundage. For all you fat kids out there I get it...what if I fail? In front of everyone. I have to tell you I have been over whelmed by all the people who have been supportive of me and what I am trying to do. At the end of the day its up to you. But why do it all on your own? So what have I been doing? Well for starters I have stopped eating more than one dinner a night. Yup thats right...as a fat kid I often want food even when i dont need it...okay more than often. So I would frequently eat dinner somewhere else then come home to a great meal prepared by my parents and eat that too. I can safely say that there are times where I am sure I have eaten a days worth of calories and such in one sitting. I have stopped that. It is hard. But I force myself to not eat dinner again. If im still hungry I grab a snack. I try to eat things that are higher in fiber and protein. More Veggies. I seriously think I have become a veggie-a-holic. I made tuna last week and with no alternative I was forced to put mayonaise in it. (I have been trying to not use it..ive found most things i would put it on taste great without it as well) So to make up for all the mayo I added like 5 different veggies to the sandwich. It was delicious. I have made the switch to wheat or whole grain pasta. Nasty right? Well i found one kind I liked. Healthy Harvest Penne Pasta. Does it taste the same? Of course not. But it is good. I hate breakfast...I often feel sick in the mornings...(no I am not pregnant..no not even a chance...listen God would have to be sending another son and since Jesus did such a great job the first time I dont think He would be re-inventing the wheel..so no..im not pregnant =) ) But I do hate breakfast. Guess what..i eat it anyways. Gives me energy and doesnt leave me wanting to Stop at DD for those delicious breakfast sandwiches and donuts that go straight to my thighs. Execize. Ugh. right? I know. I give myself a pep talk every morning as I lay in bed 20 minutes after my alarm has gone off telling myself "kelly get up...kelly GET UP!". As cliche' as this is going to sound...I really do feel better after I work out. You know after I catch my breath, feel my pulse slow down, and lay on the ground moaning for10 minutes...i feel great. I try to go to the gym in the morning...the other day I went on the eliptical. Oh my goodness. I told myself I would strive for 10 minutes. I made it 4-6. My calfs and thighs were burning so bad and I stopped several times. But i did it. Almost fell off it. Wouldnt that of been embarrising. Probably would have hit my head off the bike next to me too. ha! Anyways, I like the treadmill. Whats funny is Im strolling along music pumping in my ears, sweat pouring out of every pore in my body and I think man I must be flying at my 2.7-3.1 speed. Then I glance over at the 60yr old lady walking med pace on a 4.0 speed. Sigh. Then i vow in my head that I will be up to a 4.0 soon enough then I'll show that treadmill and that old lady! I do my own thing at my own pace. Over the years I have had so many people give me advice. And while I appreciate it all...I know my body and I know my limitations. I know when I can push myself and when I have had enough. So I work to push myself a little more each time..each week. I am confidant that I will be a jogger some day. Then maybe a runner....whoa....did Kelly Flaherty just say run? ha. Yes...run. What I learned today: When walking with head phones...look for cars. Had a close call and envisioned myself flying into the air landing on my ipod shuffle and breaking it rendering it useless for further usage. Yes when thinking about getting hit by a car my first thought is did my ipod break. Taking time to be active is an important choice you must make daily. Even if for 20 minutes to go for a walk or as a good friend suggested shoot some hoops. Now I can go to bed tonight knowing that I was active at least once today. Hills are not my friend. I am hoping to grow a better friendship over time but for now they are my enemy. Thanks for all the encourgement. Helping more than you know. -Kelly