Written On: Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The last couple of weeks have quite possibly been the busiest of my life. Okay that's a bit of a stretch but I have been quite busy. Trying to find time to exersize has been very difficult. So my workouts have been short. I am still trying to do something everyday however. I have been trail blazing in the forests of Western Mass. Sometimes I forget that Im not really a rock climber....yet. I tend to see these big structures made by God with waterfalls cascading over them and think...i could totally scale that. Ya...not quite. I would rather not break my face so I really need a dose of reality before I become one with the earth, literately! I am guessing that most of you know where the title of this note comes from. If not go to youtube and type it in. Gotta love American Idol auditions. They are my favorite part. Anyways. A few months ago I realized I was in need of pants so I went to Old Navy.com and bought some. When they were shipped to my house I find out they are too small. Why didnt I shop in the store you ask? Well like most stores they do not have fat girl clothes in the store. They did for a while in Old Navy but it must have offended the customers because now they are "exclusivly online" as old navy puts it on their website. I love that they try and make it sound like its a priveledge. Like we are in some elite club. Actually I have a feeling the plus sizes might have not sold well in store because lots of heavy set people are afraid of shopping in public. Feeling as if the whole world is watching them try on those size 26 jeans. Not to mention the fact that if they dont fit they you have the "walk of shame" back to the rack. I get it. It can be very intimidating. But really ladies...why are we doing this? Hiding who we are. We complain that society puts us down cuz we're fat. But very often we are the best at doing that to ourselves! So get out there and shop! Ive completely lost track of my point at the beginning of this paragraph. haha. Okay so what I was going to share was that those Old Navy pants fit now! Not just them but most of the pants I have been holding onto that have been a little to snug or really down right...i cant breathe! I was so excited to have that happen. I wasnt expecting it and was preparing myself for the worst of course. I cant always see where I am losing the weight. But that was a great conformation. So last Saturday at Weight Watchers we talked about not giving up. And boy did I need to hear that! With life getting busier and me having more urges to lay in bed and just eat all day its been a struggle to want to do anything let alone look at calories, fat etc. But what everyone said made so much sense. You will have weeks were you gain..or lose .5 or nothing. But when you give up you go right back to where you were. Or worse! I just keep thinking..if I stop and gain weight and then some...then when I want to start again I will be heavier than before. It will be like starting all over again. So my thing is this, no matter how much i want to quit, no matter how many times I mess up..I will not be throwing in the towel. I equate this much to my walk with God. When I mess up he is there pushing me to continue on. Because life with God is just that LIFE. Not a portion, not a time period but the whole thing. Weight loss is like that...is a LIFE thing. If I am making this sound easy. Please forgive me. Because its not. Not at all. But all the tears and crap days and fusterating tired nights are worth it. I am worth it. My life, me not dying in my 20's, me being able to fly to anywhere and experience everything is worth it! I went to a place called Bear's Den this week. It is woods with this really awesome waterfall. Its small but pretty non-the-less. I was with my cousin who has her permit. So at the very least if I broke something at least she could drive. Me a day dreamer by nature, envisioned me falling and breaking my arm. Then being all McGuiver and splinting it with a stick and my sweatshirt. All the while staying calm and collected. Of Course in reality I would be screaming bloody murder and would probably panic my way into unconsioness. Im always a hero in my day dreams though. I am 2 pounds away from my 5% goal at weight watchers. Its hard to keep track of weight loss because it depends on what point you start from. The doctor has their own starting point and Weight watchers has their own. I figure it doesnt matter. Weight loss is weight loss. Things I learned this week: Things always look higher when on top of them than when looking up at them. Walking down to the gym was such a great idea...walking back, uphill....ya..not so good No matter how old I get I cannot ever find socks that match. Giving up shouldnt even be an option
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