Sunday, June 27, 2010

Confessions of a fat kid-overcoming adversity

Written on: Friday, March 12, 2010

Week 2.....ugh week two. Quite possibly the worst week ever. I suppose thats up to individual but if youre like me by week two youre wondering to yourself...is being morbidly obese really that bad? Sure I break chairs sometimes and offend people on the airplane with my backside invading their space but there are perks too...right? I mean Im hardly ever cold and people think im "comfortable". Sigh. Week two. This week started off good...still on my high of losing weight last week I began to think I even looked different. Although my pants fit the same so that is highly unlikely. You know how sometimes you have the best days and while the day is coming to the end you think wow...i cant believe what a great day. And while the smile is still on your face the world says "Oh wait I forgot to give you THIS!" and you realize you left your youngest child at the grocery store hours ago and when you go back to retrive him there is the 6 o'clock news ready to inverview you as the horrible parent who abandonded their child. Ya, Tuesday was that day for me. As I was driving home I took a wrong turn and as I went to turn around my car decided that it would refuse to work. After calling my boss, my dad, and two tow truck companies, I was so done with Tuesday! Oh but the fun didnt end there. The garage kept my car for two days and then returned it to me on Thursday, not before taking 387 dollars from me of course. My point? Other than taking this public forum to complain of course is this...I did not want to do anything but throw myself a pity party, climb into bed and stuff my face. Right before I headed home on Wed. night I checked my fb and read some encouraging thoughts. And that was all it took. I went home had a healthy snack and worked out. Then ate a good dinner. What I learned those few days is this: The world is going to throw you curveballs. You can learn how to swing or get hit and let them take you out. I didnt want to work out...i didnt want to do anything. But I did it anyways. Against my better judgement. haha. Today (fri) was another one of those great days. I picked up Daruenie and we ventured out into the wild of Fitchburg. We wound up at Coggshall Park. Where my life long dream came into fruition. I was the king (queen) of the world. There are these huge rocks that are scadered around and some are massive. Me being...well me....had to climb the biggest one. Now to an ordinary person this might not have been a hard task at all..but this is me...I get winded standing up. The trickiest thing was finding the hand placement to pull myself up. But I accomplished that feat. Made it to the top. In that moment I felt so accomplished. I love climbing things but weight and fear always get in the way. But today I conqured that. Huge for me. Then of course the getting down. Oh man. That proved to be harder. Luckily I didnt fall at all. Wouldnt that have been a fun story to tell the grandkids. "And this scar is from the surgery grandma had to have when she fell and rolled off a rock and landed on her leg." We walked around the park after. It was just great. And will be even better the nice the weather gets better. But of course things always find a way to steal my joy...well i allow them to. I weighed myself and lets just say I am not as happy as I was last week. I was told its the time of day. I usually weigh myself in the mornings before I eat and I had to weigh myself at night instead. I am +2. UGH! I told myself I would be okay with anything...I lied. I knew I was lying too but i kept thinking...there is no way I gained weight. I didnt do anything different. Even as I write this I am dissapointed and partly angry at myself. My glimmer of hope is that in the morning the scale will be kinder. The truth is this though...there will be weeks I gain. Weeks I lose and weeks I stay the same. I cannot let any of that deter me from my goal. This week has taught me a lot. Pushing through is hard. Really hard. Almost impossible. However its a good thing I am not on my own then. I have friends and family cheering me on and being my shoulder to lean and ear to listen. And above all I have a heavenly father who loves me regardless and will continue to help me along with all that I need. I have a victory for the week. I conqured the eliptical. Thats right. 9 minutes straight. Granted the lady next to me was at 25 minutes when I got there and still on when I left. But I for one think she is a robot. Put there by the gym to stay on the machine and make you look to what you too can accomplish some day. You didnt see her...she is definatly a robot. Oh and I jogged. Thats right ladies and gentlemen week 2 was a jogging week. The grand total of time spent jogging...30-45 sec at a time...3 times. Thats right. Read it in weep track runners! Things I learned today: When climbing a rock, map out a clear exit plan. Always wear multiple layers, for when the photo opportunity of a lifetime occurs you wouldnt want to miss it just to not mess up your clothes. Lucky for me I wouldnt pass up a photo op if I was wearing Armani. And this my friends is why I am a Youth Pastor.

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